Having a Palliative Care nurse as a spouse and poet has left me a different person than I would be if I hadn’t. The end of life presents the ultimate decision points that either gather together all that is good for the final movement or maybe sends you spinning “into-the-next” in conflict with yourself, family and sometimes community. Usually death’s decisions are an imperfect mix of the two. As we reach the last stages of life we know something we often want to unknow and that, sadly or fortunately, can’t be done. This train is bound for Jordan. 

I read an editorial by a physician in some moral distress because a 30 year old patient chose not to have a pacemaker installed after it was medically clear his rare condition was cancelling the signals to the heart to beat. He talked about wanting to live, but in the end, by having his wishes honored, he died within 12 hours of being admitted. He could not accept the live saving options due to fears and beliefs. The physician understood and complied to his rights, but still carried the feeling of moral distress generated by the struggle created by distance between his words and his chosen actions. That gap between what you say and what you believe you must do exists in all of us, but we should start bridging that gap much earlier as we grow older. Words are inexpensive but put them together as a creed or slogan and they can cost you your life. Creeds and slogans must at least contend with facts .

Modest Proposal for Good

We don’t have to wait for the imminence of death to close the gab. The growing gap between language and choice in our divided nation and culture is resulting in the deterioration of our traditions at a rate similar to a physical body facing the terminal journey. A good decision is always layered because the good decision does not initially always feel good. The hunch has to be tested against science, community, and fact. Democracy in our time is in imminent mortal danger. Like the young man above, there are things that could prevent democracy from going terminal but we have to overcome come our fears that masquerade as beliefs. As individuals, we can practice seeing and responding to the facts of our political peril knowing that our peril is authored by a blanket of fear and loathing. The empty talk about “greatness” is the driving context of our own mortal danger as a democracy. Good would be practicing facing our fears using our God given intelligence in the realms of self-governing. Then, when ultimately we face our own bodily mortality not too many good people are saddled into the future with the moral distress of our fearful contradictions. That would be good.