In death we are all human. No matter how you cut and define your life this writer feels on solid ground in saying that dying and the losses that come to those connected to the dying need to be treated as a sacred protected space even if you are not a believer. Any person who tries at any level to draw personal or political benefit from a tragic death falls into the category of a vampire of grief. Our nation’s current leader has crossed a line in his comments regarding the deaths of Rob Reiner and his wife Michelle Singer. The entire sad event of their murders is posed to throw the shade of grief across the family and their beloved community. In the face of something so obvious still someone wants to draw political benefit from the perceived opportunities of this tragedy. We would have to dig a hole to accommodate the bar of decency that such a level of narcissism suggests. That he can do this without of unified howl of protest from his party and supporters speaks to a dangerous level of fear and compliance for I am sure we are better than this.

A modest plea for Good

There really is no need for this writer to propose goodness in this event. I would like to suggest that condolences are for the grieving alone and the forced transformation brought on by death for the living is protected space. In offering condolences one must take off the armor and call a pause in personal ambition. Not only must we pause ambition, but we must discipline ambition’s immature cousins; anger and retribution. A child’s response to death is going to be all over the board and of course forgivable, but we are adults reading this. A vampire of grief is an adult who can’t set aside a child’s prerogatives and unfulfilled needs and is compelled to act with cruelty. We look to our leadership in guiding us through grief because the loss of a loved one is often the temporary loss of orientation for the living. Good here is cutting our losses and when the peaceful opportunity arrives, electing a leader who can help us find the way to healing and moving forward.